The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
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I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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