After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
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It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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