God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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