this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
