i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
