Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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