How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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