I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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