apparently the secret to your success is patron
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
