so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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