Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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