never play flip cup with pint glasses
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
