My nipple is on Facebook.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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