Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this boner is exhausting
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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