I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Randomize
