My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
