it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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