Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
