so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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