I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Send help, water and tortillas.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
