PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
