Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
