Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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