i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
