did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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