I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
