Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She even gives head with a lisp.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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