YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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