I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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