So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
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I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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