NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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