i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
