My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
