Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
