is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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