So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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