I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize