It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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