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Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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