Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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