Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
