You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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