So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
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I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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