i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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