Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
