sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
