week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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