Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
