and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
