If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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