Sry I called you an 8
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
