I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Michael Bay diarrhea
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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