if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
