Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
