And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
