Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
