just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you will always have a special place in my vag
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
