id be glad to
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
