we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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